You, me, and him
by WiltedSprout
Summary: South Park is a fucked up town, no one could deny that. It's a natural accurance for weird shit to go on, whether it's an invasion of nazi robot Kardashians or some third world country keeping us hostage. Having weird shit happen on an almost daily basis takes a toll on the many teenage residents of South Park, as if cliché highschool drama wasn't enough to worry about. • • •
1. Chapter 1

South Park is a fucked up town, no one could deny that.

It's a natural accurance for weird shit to go on, whether it's an invasion of nazi robot Kardashians or some third world country keeping us hostage, everyone would simply be call it Saturday afternoon.

Of course, that's only the tip of the Kenny McCormick iceberg.

Coming from a poor, broken family and caught in a vortex of life, death, life, death with the inability to escape this living hell, it really takes a toll on you.

That's why, for the 17th time this month, I find myself dead, this time on the cold, dilapidated tile of my bathroom floor with alcohol tainting my stomach.

I woke up in a haze, the icy air of our unheated house brushed against my form and shook me to the core. I yanked my duvet up to my chin and closed my eyes, groaning. The alarm on my hand-me-down iPhone 4 had gone off long ago but I refused to get up.

"Fuck you, fuck school, fuck everything," I groaned, quiet and only understandable by yours truly.

I shifted to the side, the springs of my bed rattling with every movement, and looked at the time.

'9:53AM' blinking in a bold font on the screen, I decided to suck it up and go to school.

Most days I wished I had a normal family, a normal life, people that cared. I would look at everyday passerby-ers and wonder what it's like to wake up on Christmas morning with jolly smiles, running frantically down the stairs to the stocked full, picture perfect Christmas tree.

I would walk through shopping centres and towns and see families and couples alike conversing with bags chocked full of shit they don't even need wishing it was me.

Other days I wallow in my own pity party, glad that no one cares enough to stop me from drowning my sorrows with alcohol or drugs or whatever. But then again, if I wasn't fucked with the life I have, I wouldn't have any sorrows to drown.

I sauntered mindlessly into the school, greeted by empty hallways and warm air. I made my way down the long corridors, contemplating whether or not to even go to first block. "I'm already here, I might as well," I replied to myself quietly as I walked into my Math 11 class.

"Late again?" The calm voice of my teacher entering my ear and right out the other. 'Mhm' I mumble quietly in response as I sit down in the last remaining seat, farthest to the back. "I've got my eye on you McCormick," she said, keeping her calm tone, and continued the lesson.

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely.

I'm a seemingly popular person, I have friends, but everyone thinks what they see is what there is, like I'm an open book. Everyone sees me as that one guy that drinks and will do anything for a spare buck, a common whore.

There's more to me than just that, I have feelings and thoughts, but I never share them, only pussies and chicks share feelings and I'm neither of the two.

D block aka gym, where horny teenagers are put into tight clothing, forced to move around, and shower with other horny teenagers.

I like to call this 'inconvenient hard-on' class, and I'm not feeling up to it today.

I pulled my phone from my backpack after many minutes of hastily digging through it and went into the contacts, "Stan, no, Cartman, fuck no," my fingers stopped as I reached the first name in 'K', Broflovski. I hadn't talked to Kyle in many weeks and I was curious as to why he was avoiding me.

I cautiously typed up a greeting and waited. 'Hopefully he's at school,' I thought to myself.

Kyle Broflovski 10:53 AM

What do you want?

Damn he's pissy.

Kenny McCormick 10:54 AM

I don't feel like getting a boner during PE, so do you wanna chill? ;)

Kyle Broflovski 10:54 AM

You know I don't skip class.

Kenny McCormick 10:55 AM

Awe come on... Please? :^(

Typing...

Kyle Broflovski 10:56AM

I hate you, meet me out back in a few mins.

I grabbed my stuff in a cheerful hurry and darted down the long corridors, ignoring the teachers yelling loudly at me.

My entire life I've had one non metaphorical foot on earth and the other in hell. Day after day, week after week, and so on. Constant death is less fearful and more of a burden now a days. I wake up and wonder if today will be 'one of those days'. The days when I'm sent to the fiery pit in the ground after some inconvenient mishap with the guys. Their voices ring in my head like a broken CD stuck on repeat. 'Oh my god! They've killed Kenny!' 'You bastards!'. I wish I could have the perfect lives that Stan or Kyle have, all they have to deal with is deciding which game station they want and saying those two simple sentences at my often downfalls.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat calmly upon the cold concrete steps on the back of the school, light snow beginning to fall gently to the pavement below.

I moved my cigarette up to my lips and inhaled, exhaled. The smoke gently floating in the snow filled air.

I heard the clank of the heavy schoolyard doors and looked behind me, noticing a boy with red curls, and a green ushanka had sat himself beside me.

"Can I have one of those?" Kyle asked quietly and pointed to the object between my fingers. "What's the occasion?" I returned his question with another, which was intended to come out in a joking tone. "I got a girlfriend," He replied quietly as I passed him a cigarette. I sighed. "You're a strange boy, Broflovski," I stated calmly. "You too, McCormick," Kyle retorted. If I had a girlfriend I sure wouldn't be loafing on the back steps of our school smoking a pack of cigarettes. "Who's the lucky girl?" I asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence. "Oh, it's Nichole," He replied. Yes, somewhere inside of me there's a hint of envy, poking and prodding at me, but I'm happy for him. I've never been someone with jealousy issues. I've always been happy for whoever in some way or another. "Didn't she dig you back in, what, fourth grade?" I asked, surprised. He nodded in response and moved his cigarette up to his lips. "Small world," I stated quietly.

Kyle's been different recently. I don't just mean since his new girlfriend, the past few months he hasn't been the same old lanky, redhead, Jewish boy.

He's been quieter, started paying less attention to grades, and overall just let himself go. I actually saw him drunk off his ass at a party a few days ago, he's never been someone to get drunk at parties. Luckily Stan was nice (and sober) enough to man up and take us both home. Speaking of parties, Wendy's having one tomorrow, how cliché. Usually no one would give two shits about talking and just show up, but Wendy always has great parties. She spends a decent amount of money on good alcohol and actually cares who shows up. Most of the school is invited, in fact I think there's only 4 or 5 people who aren't. One of them being Cartman which I find funny as hell. The two broke up just a few weeks ago and she started dating Craig. Damn, Cartman must be pissed.

(Cartman)

I stood at my locker, one hand propped against the door, the other clutching my phone. The hallways were bustling, kids talking, walking past, footsteps and meagre conversations about dumb shit. The bell had gone many moments ago but I remain still, except for the slight movement of my thumbs on the bright screen.

"Hey Cartman, are you going to Wendy's party tomorrow?"

The nasally voice of Craig Tucker, appeared out of nowhere and interrupted my aimless scrolling. "Wait, what party?" I asked in a loud tone, drawing the attention of other students to me. "Oh, never mind. You probably weren't invited then," He dropped the conversation and walked off with his hands in his pockets. God damn I hate him. I looked around hastily for a few moments until I spotted the boy I seek, Butters. I ran over to him in a hurry. "Butters, are you going to Wendy's party?" I asked anxiously as I grabbed the boy by his shoulders and shook him. "Y-yeah, why ya' askin'?" He replied and pushed my hands off him. "I need you to do something for me," He looked down and hit his knuckles together. "W-well Eric, whenever I help ya' with anythin' i-it usually involves me dressin' up like a lady and m-makin' a fool of myself," He said calmly in reply. "You won't need to dress up like a chick for this one, okay?" I let my foot tap a quick beat in exasperation against the white tile floor. "O-oh, a-alright I guess, but ya' better not be lyin'!" He returned his gaze to me as he spoke softly. "Butters, when have I ever lied to you?" I asked and looked him in the eyes. "W-well actually," Before he could continue I interrupted him. "Don't answer that, I need to find Tweek," I said coarsely. "H-he's right down the hall, there," Butters pointed to the left in the direction of a small blond boy holding a coffee and I walked off in a hurry.

This plan is fucking perfect.

A/N sorry this chapter is like 200 words short but I really wanted to get this posted because I've been working on it for a few days already.


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